


count to seven

by i_was_human



Category: Lost in Translation (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Mental Health Issues, No Beta, author's hatred of dogs is showing oops, lapslock, ventfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:20:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28700556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_was_human/pseuds/i_was_human
Summary: check.one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. keys, phone, chapstick, pen, hand sanitizer, earbuds, charger.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 9





	count to seven

_check._

one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. keys, phone, chapstick, pen, hand sanitizer, earbuds, charger. 

_check._

it's 1:14 in the morning. early.

_check._

minsoo hasn't texted.

dongho flips his phone over, taps into his messages. 

_check._

his phone blinks to 1:16- another minute lost to a lack of acknowledgement.

minsoo hasn't texted.

_check._

one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. 

he checks the desk, chair, pockets. he has everything.

why does it feel like he's forgetting something?

he taps into music, plugs his earbuds in. the familiar noise of some song he barely recognizes fills his ears, and he screws his eyes shut, hands drifting back to his pockets.

one, two, three, four, five, six-

earbuds in his ears.

seven.

he steps out of his studio, locking the door and checking it a few times just to be sure. 

he's halfway down the hall when he remembers- he must not've locked the door.

right?

...he probably did. 

but what if he didn't?

 _enough_.

he tamps the anxiety down and heads forwards, ignoring the distant scream to _checkturnbackyouneverknowwhatcouldhappen_ and pulling out his phone.

1:21.

another few minutes lost to the ether.

it's always like that, isn't it?

his phone buzzes, finally - 1:22. a good number. 1x2=2. an equation solved yet again.

it's minsoo. asking when he'll be home.

 _"on my way,"_ he texts, clicking off his phone and sliding it into his pocket.

_check._

one, two, three, four, five, six-

earbuds in his ears.

seven.

* * *

there's always a _thing_ about bringing a lot of items somewhere.

he checks his papers - here is today's work, here is tomorrow's, here is his pen, here is his pencil, here is his phone, here are his earbuds - and counts them up in his head. pocket space - one, two, three, four. 

the meeting drones on, and dongho's thoughts stray, as usual, to his studio door. it's probably locked - people go to check all the time - but what if it isn't?

it is.

surely.

_check._

one, two, three, four.

he's alright.

once the meeting ends, he scoops up his papers, hand straying down to check his pocket as if something might've fallen out with the simple movement of him standing.

_check._

one, two, three, four.

he's alright.

he high-tails it to his studio, boots clicking against the floor, and he breathes a sigh of relief when he sees his door locked.

wait-

what if something fell out on the walk?

_check._

one, two, three, four.

he's good.

he unlocks the door, turning back around to lock it behind him. 

_check._

he can see it's locked from his chair. good.

_check._

one, two, three, four. he has everything.

it feels like he's missing something.

but he has everything. pen, pencil, phone, earbuds.

but what if he forgot something? he forgets a lot of things. what if he forgot that, too?

he takes a seat, jamming his headphones over his head.

enough.

turn off his mind.

* * *

he doesn't like dogs. never has.

they're dirty. dirty and smelly and _bad_. 

not like cats. cats are clean and nice and smell good. don't lick. don't make him dirty.

not like dogs.

it's the same with other dirty things. trashcans, trash-bins, dirty dishes, hot metal. all necessitate a hand wash. 

because it _lingers_. it _lingers_ and it _sticks_ and dongho fucking _hates_ the way everything feels on his hands - dirty and sticky and _nauseating_.

normal people don't feel like this.

surely not. surely normal people don't feel like this - feel like things _linger_ , sick and nauseating and _wrong_.

after all, normal people like dogs.

it all _sticks_. everything _sticks_ and makes him feel dirty, feel _disgusting_ , but it's not everything. never has been.

in any case.

it doesn't interfere with his daily life much? not beyond the bare basics of _no dogs_ and _hot water with lots of soap for dishwashing._

he handles it. always has.

even if he has to rush to the bathroom sometimes with soap that sticks to his fingers and makes him feel as dirty as he was earlier. even if it's dirty despite being clean.

he's handling it.

he always has.

* * *

going to restaurants goes like this:

 _check_ at the entrance. _check_ at the table. _check_ while ordering meals - hand always straying to his pocket.

make small talk. _check_ again when the waiter brings food. 

it could be there. could not be. always gotta check and see.

have a nice dinner. don't move. moving could make things fall out and checking could make things fall out so he keeps his hands in his pockets. always checking.

they leave. 

he checks.

one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

everything's there. 

a sigh of relief.

"you have everything," minsoo teases, gesturing back to the table. "what, do you think you left something?"

he has to double-check. what if he left something? what if he left his phone, chapstick, pen, anything?

one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

he has everything, right?

surely.

"no," he lies, knowing the anxiety will slip away in due time but never _believing_ it. "i'm good. let's go."

_check._

one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

he has everything. 

right?

**Author's Note:**

> tagged mental health issues bc uhh idk what this is but it's me so /shrug
> 
> sorry dongho buddie i whacked you with all my issues again
> 
> ...whatever they are
> 
> uh real content coming soon i promise i just had to do this
> 
> [twit](https://twitter.com/i_was_human_) | [lit fic discord!](https://discord.gg/CNunB74)


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